Ultimatums

I never appreciated time until I loved

They don’t go hand in hand

Although one is difficult without the other

Would I rather have endless love

with no time to live in it

Would I rather have endless time

with no love to fill it

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Off Chances

On the off chance that the world stops spinning,

the clocks stand still and the sun burns stagnant

Grass stops growing and tides remain calm

If you hold me in your world we can pretend

life is flourishing and nothing is wrong

When your skin grazes mine the effect

tackles my tongue and holds it down

The freeing kiss tries to ease the war

in my mind going on for all time

If only I knew I deserved love

maybe I could accept it

On the off chance that the world spins opposite

I would sprint back in time

to one of the first times

we lay side by side

and while you’re lost in my green eyes

I’d let those three syllables fly

like free men locked up unjustly-

but they’re still doing time

I have but one chance

to relay all my deep thoughts

and feelings about you

that haunt, taunt, and flaunt themselves to me

On the off chance that the world stays the same

Come back to me and I’ll be your dane

Anything we do carries emotions of joy

Fun follows us around like a lost little boy

I could spend the remainder of my mornings

Opening my eyes and seeing you first

I could spend the remainder of my nights

letting by day go while next to you

knowing when I open my eyes soon

We have another day to explore our love together

Only the Beginning

You were always present

but never an option

you surpassed second

this is not common

Perhaps your roots

were already so deep

Your secretion of love

infected me more early

Than my veins detected

To enjoy your poison

I couldn’t be protected

My homemade armor

was faux in it’s stand

I wanted you to see through me

I wanted to fall through like sand

in a strainer, grain by grain

The poison is deeper now

Relishing in the grooves on my brain

Welcome to a part of me

We’ll see how long the river of love

flows when you know the real me

All my flaws and cracks

all the scars on my back

From letting others love me

Those roots now dead and black

From the last cell in my heart,

from the last narration

of thought in my brain

Leave my heart in no worse condition

than when you came

Already fragile,

holding on tight

When my heart wilts with doubt

I relive our first night

Now time has ticked relentlessly

The hands on the clock have beaten me senseless

The leaves on the trees are giving way to red

Yellow, Orange

Green is a thing of the past

As each leaf falls

I try to let a thought of you go

You were my first summer

You were my only bloom

You are my undying loop

of what could have been

As we embrace a last time

I dam the flood behind my eyes

I love you more than birds love the sky

Just hold me here for life- I would be content

I could die standing in your arms

You calm my storm of seasons

I’ve lost any will to pretend

Variety

Inhale our cosmic waves together

Gracefully float fingers over raised hairs

Cautious not to touch the skin

Small bumps produce on the surface

Enticing touch denying feeling

Kneading toes entrapped in socks

Makes this all more undeniable

Lower the gates, release the horses,

pull the plug, let the fox run,

let the eagle fly, let the child laugh and play

Let good be good and bad be reasoned

Let goosebumps collide together from different arms

And legs

Taste what lust leaves on your tongue

and remember it as my flavor

 

 

Short Sym

Burning on the sheets we were on fire

laying in our ashes, you’ve been deemed a liar

Tell all your friends I’m just another fuck

Yet when I read between the lines

On your eyes all they spell is love.

It’s okay to lie to them and even to me

But admit to yourself that maybe we

we’re just meant to be

You and me

I know it sounds crazy

Just thinking of it makes me smoke myself hazy

And I need to stop, these days I can’t get high

Only options left are drink or die

Always promised myself I’d never be an alcoholic

But as long as your on this Earth I’ll still walk it

 

Suicide at midnight 

Find me in a cave 

Surrounded by your words

All the little things 

That almost kept me on this earth 

As I sit and watch the moon 

Rise in the sky 

I think of how it’s the last

I’ll see in a long time 

What waits for me next 

Has me just as perplexed 

As everyone of all times 

All around the world 

The crescent rises higher 

As the pill in my palm gains weight 

Pulling it down but I need the strength 

All of my problems to be gone very soon 

My last thought is why didn’t I wait till noon  

Patterns

I knew from the start of our 

Conjoining of universes 

My black hole that’s mistaken for my heart 

Would turn all we had into nothing

Leaving no evidence or proof of existence 

Loving becomes dangerous when you realize it’s as dangerous as fire yet as replaceable as new spring flower buds 

So while you went full steam ahead eager for more 

I slowed down and enjoyed it while it lasted with a sad smile on my face 

It was over before it began, my personalized pattern 

In nowhere I found You 

​With my knees and breasts pushed together

I curl my toes and feel the rock

Smooth from high tide

Cold and welcoming on my toe tips

Here my emotions over power anything I’ve experienced

The streetlights and engines of cars

Cannot be seen or heard from here

My ears are flooded with the river in front of me swiftly moving

It drowns out any other sounds nature may offer

Maybe it’s the alcohol pumping in my veins

Possibly it’s the marijuana in my mind

Perhaps it’s my heart over powering my on guard mind

But as my neck folds back and my eyes absorb the light show above me

The singular wish in my mind is for your presence

The stars scatter the sky above the small mountain separated from me by the river

It’s appears so close, it’s dark mass towers over me in an almost frightening manner

No fear is allowed tonight, though

The strings of my heart feel the physical pull of more strength than the water

And I realize I need you in the way fish need this river

I need you in the way the stars need the night sky

I need you in the way the trees need the sun

I slide my feet down the rock and into the water

It’s warmth catches me off guard and I close my eyes

I need you in the way I need you

When my eye lids are open yet again and I join the stars back in the sky

You infiltrate my mind more severely than when this river floods and washes away anything in its path

Sitting on this rock

Hearing the melody of the river

Enticed by the sheet of stars above

With only my soul here

I decide to tell you

If I am my own Earth

You are my oxygen